Juan is Luv: The Fiesta

Juan is Luv


= The Fiesta =


Starring Juan


= Possibly Carlos =


#ProbablyARemake


I was just a normal, rich and proud Russian woman until that day. The day "HE" changed me.
Walking down the street at an approximate 0.69 Mph - According to my PedoBearMeter. Also, my Pedometer - on a sunny and hot day. Sweaty and shirtless women were everywhere. They were gardening and making me stare at their gardens. But one woman caught my eye. The way she cut the garden made me shiver with excitement and I couldn't believe she looked at me. She had dark red eyes and they made me so wet because I poored my MOONTAIN POO all over me.
I approached this ferocious lady and immediately knew something was wrong. The top she wasn't wearing was blue, but blue was so five minutes ago! Yellow was the new colour! Thick, green, vomit yellow. Then I noticed the more obvious problem with this perplexing woman. Her nametag for Walmart/ASDA was "Juan". I never knew a woman could be called Juan before but, so as to not be rude, I didn't question it. Sure she was hispanix but I'm not racist! I think.
Her smile that she had made me wet with MOONTAIN POO earlier spread into an even wider smile that covered her whole face. She then began humping the air with all her force which made her Ultra-Too-Skinny-4-U-Jeans' buttons fly off. This was becoming a Tr0llpasta or something. But she still looked hot (From the Sun) so I pulled her close to me.
She threw me to the ground and demanded I pay her (Insert your country's currency here)10. So I did. She then got her mower from the shed and plowed my back with it over and over. It actually kind of hurt.
Out of nowhere a man came rushing into the garden. He had a frown that spread down to his knees and he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Juan. I could see a tattoo of a p3n1s on his nose. Inside that tattoo was another one. That tattoo said "Carlos". I knew right away it was him.
He jumped on top of Juan and began wrestling her into Hell. He pulled on her hair and pushed her into the ground while air humping ferociously. He pushed her so hard that the blocks beneath them broke and a dirt block was added to my inventory.
She then fell to Hell.
Carlos got up and stared at me. He stared for so long more MOONTAIN POO was poured onto me by a poor white man called George. He walked up to me and kissed me for twenty minutes. His breath smelt of my Sister but I didn't care.
He then threw me into Hell.
That's why I'm now telling you this story.
Because you are also in Hell.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL